Chapter One: One Way To Begin A New Life
Bella
Strange.
It’s the only way I can begin to describe the way I feel.
With everything so topsy-turvy what can you expect? My entire world had been turned on its head and now my own husband couldn’t spare a word in my direction.
It was understandable, though, the silence that had encapsulated him but it made it no less awkward to be around him like this.
The entire drive to the airport had been like this; silent and I didn’t know exactly what to make of it. At first I thought he could possibly be mad at me, after all anytime a man had shown interest in me in the past with Edward always turned out to be my fault. I knew better than that though, Jasper was no jealous boyfriend out to slaughter those who simply stared at me, no, this was different this was a betrayal in his eyes of the highest caliber and I had no idea how to feel about it myself.
It was easy to understand the betrayal. It had always been him and Emmett against Edward when it came to my time and affections, but just as Jasper had hid his feelings for me from Edward, Emmett had been equally if not more deceiving when it came to hiding his feelings from Jasper. But honestly I think the betrayal went deeper than just his brother being in love with his wife, it was the betrayal of the only father he knew and I think that was what hurt him the most.
Carlisle. That name seemed to burn the very skin of my mouth but I also understood him and therein laid my confliction. I could understand why Carlisle had so shamefully did what he had done. He was a father first and foremost and didn’t want to see Emmett suffer the harm that he so obviously saw coming, but make no mistake it was still wrong in my eyes for Jasper was also a son and was equally hurt by this catastrophe.
Fuck. Why was it that every time I find happiness my whole world seems to fall apart. I had been awake less than a full twenty-four hours and now here I was on the run from a completely new problem and this one would be infinity harder in the solving.
Now sitting in first class, my beautiful puppies stored somewhere in the back and my gorgeous husband at my arm the thought crossed my mind that I should be happy. I was getting everything that I had previously asked for; time alone with my husband, two beautiful babes growing inside me and any destination I had in mind at my finger tips. Yet, at what cost.
My family was disintegrating and I could do nothing to stop it. No matter what side I chose there would be hurt feeling and burned bridges. There were so many burned already. Rosalie. She had been my sister in every way, helped me when I thought I was braking apart inside and she had lied so thoroughly to my face for so long, I honestly didn’t want to think about how long, but it would leave an everlasting pain on my heart one I was not so sure would ever heal.
“Jasper,” I said quietly squeezing his arm lightly, trying to gain his attention without drawing the nosy eyes of others. He looked straight ahead, no sign at all whether or not that he had heard my plea. “Jazz,” I said louder, worry creeping into my voice as panic gripped at my heart.
Finally those beautiful seas of blue turned to me but frightened me at the same time. Those eyes were dead, dull and so hopeless.
“Babe, will you be alright?” I question scared shitless that he wouldn’t respond, that something finally had broken my warrior.
“I will be,” He croaked, taking my hand in his calloused own and placing a chaste kiss to my ring finger. “I will be.” He repeated this time more firmly and I knew he was trying to convince himself more than me. In my heart I knew we’d be alright, we had been through so much together to give up now. I had everything I held dearest to the world on this plane or the ones that would be arriving hours after ours and it was all I needed.
My father was on a plane from Ireland and Aro on one from Boston both in route to meet us in Seattle where we would make a home for the next six months to get our heads on straight and for Jasper to discuss what was to become of his role in the Cullen house.
“I love you.” I whispered.
“As I love you, Blackbird.”
And for the first time since this mess started I smile.
Emmett
“NO!” I wailed, thrashing against my father who had moved faster than I had ever thought him possible to restrain me. I didn’t know if it was for my benefit or Jasper’s as my brother was in a far better condition than I at the moment. “He can’t do this! He can’t! I’ll fucking kill him!”
I could barely hear my mother sobbing and my father yelling at her to call Edward through the pounding in my ears and I didn’t care. The only thing I was concerned about just walked out the door effectively tearing the heart from my chest as she went. Doesn’t she know, I questioned myself. Did she know that I was nothing without her, that my life was worthless when she left and even worse when she came back, back and into the arms of that… monster.
I wanted to die, to end this pain of living. I would do anything to easy this suffering and at the moment I was glad she wasn’t hear to see me like this. Weak, that’s why she didn’t want me. The skin of my face was coated in a thick slime of sweat and blood, the blood from my own mouth as my teeth bough purchase against the soft skin of my cheek in my rage.
“Help! Help me, please. He can’t take her away! I won’t let…him.” I trailed off as my roars of rage dissipated into countless, agonizing sobs.
“Em,” My wife called cautiously. “Em,” she called again, a little louder.
“GET AWAY FROM ME!” I screamed with all my might, pushing her from me.
Everyone took a cautious step back gasping, and rightly so, I was in no mood for company and I really didn’t want to hurt anyone. Anyone but him, that is.
My heart was thudding loudly in my ear and I couldn’t seem to catch my breath. My stomach was churning from the smell of acid and bile and it was only then did I realize that I had thrown up. My body heaved again as the stench wafted to my nose, spilling the rest of my breakfast all over my mother’s Asian rug. I sunk to the floor with a strangled cry, curling in on myself.
For a long while, I just laid there in my depression and my desperation. My father, mother, sister and Garrett had left me to myself some time ago. The pain in my chest was indescribable, a gaping hole of sadness and despair filled my every inch and I wanted nothing more than for it to all end. She had left with him, of her own free will. Rejection stung my eyes and my heart. She didn’t want me, she said she loved me but didn’t want me. Was it because of the babies? I would be a great father, better than him. But she had chosen him and I didn’t understand it.
I should have never told Jasper - that name invoked a seething rage I couldn’t begin to describe. Why had I told him?
A pair of brown loafers appeared in my sightline. “Emmett.” Edward called firm and commanding. “Get your ass off the floor, we need to talk.”
As my brother helped me from the floor and held me in his arms as I cried I promised myself that no matter what I would get her back. She was my life and all that mattered. I would get her back even if I had to kill to get her.
